I wish there were a lot more details in this story about the breakup. It reminds me of a math equation- if a nickel is worth a dime, how much is a dime worth? And the answer is- I cannot tell from the information given.
Wouldn't the answer be "a nickel"? Circular references are usually something you try to avoid in programming but they can certainly be useful and are sometimes necessary!
Actually without further information, other answers are possible. If you double a nickel you get a dime. If you then double a dime you get 20 cents. Or if you add 5 cents to a nickel, you also get a dime. Then add 5 cents to a dime and you have 15 cents. We don’t know what the common denominator is here.
Interesting that the author never even tries to answer the question that is the title.
Curious what the community thinks about this:
"When I was younger, I believed the holy grail of romance was the birth of love. But now I have seen that love is the easy part; love will come again and again, as many times as you allow it. And then what? What about all the other details?"
Yeah. "Interesting" is a nice way to put it. Like Tripleg, I find it a bit frustrating. (Titles always stink on the internet. They're all "business" and no "art." Thanks for nothing, social media.)
I feel a bit cynical (and old!) saying "I agree" in response to that quote (great catch, btw - it's one of my favorites in the entire piece!!), but I do think there's some truth there.
The couple at the center of Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner (one of my favorite books of all time) grows out of one kind of love and into another kind that's more complex and, frankly, darker. It's full of "all the other details," like acceptance, compromise, utter disappointment. But, overall, it's not necessarily worse than what they started with, if that makes sense. It can be a pretty shitty/sad thing to think about, but it's almost like we need to deploy the same moral resources to handle the evolution of love as the evolution of life and the arrival of death. And like all of the most important questions in life, they can be explored but not answered.
On the one hand, there's this: "Do not go gentle into that good night, / Old age should burn and rave at close of day; / Rage, rage against the dying of the light." That's cool and all, but you're basically just setting yourself up for failure.
And on the other hand, there is the eastern/zen approach of welcoming death, greeting it with a smile. When Thich Nhat Hanh takes his last breath, I bet he'll be smiling. To me, that sounds pretty serene, but also kind of eerie.
Lars von Trier plumbed this paradox in Melancholia, one of my favorite movies of all time. There's so much haunting imagery that all comes rushing back whenever I find the time to get lost in the night sky. (Supermoon! Yes!)
Am I making sense? Do those concepts connect? Is accepting the "reality" of love (it's gonna die, but it might regrow into something new) the same as accepting the "reality" of life (it's gonna end, but we'll reincarnate into something new)? Either way it's scary as fuck.
You are making sense! I love the connection between love and life and what you wrote about the evolution of love. Reminds me of this poem called Love After Love:
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
First, it seemed weird that this woman would call an acquaintance to handle a rodent infestation! Too cheap to call a professional? He sounded interesting as far as his taking the scenic route,watching shooting stars and walking the beach in the rain. However, what jumped out at me was this: “We differ on how to treat people, where to spend money and what it means to explore the world. He’s an eye for an eye vigilante who keeps a gun.” In my opinion, you HAVE to be on the same page with how you treat people and value money - MAJOR issues. My gut says this would never work.
Lol. You made me chuckle a little bit with: "Too cheap to call a professional?"
I strongly agree with you that those are "MAJOR issues" as you say, but I'm still on the fence about your "gut" response: "this would never work." Maybe it's just that I hope it could work. But both people would have to be willing to put a crazy amount of time and energy into the relationship. And if you don't want to spend your entire life working on a relationship (which is totally understandable, especially if you have other passions) than, yeah, forget it! But I can think of many sadder ways to live a life than putting it all into a relationship, including all the ups and downs. (Like trying to get rich and/or powerful or something like that.)
He would drive me crazy ...can’t handle his antics. I loved the math problem too. I think the missing elements might be about their views on marriage. If you believe in the idea of spending your life with someone then his antics are just his antics. Marriage is not about your partner not bugging you. It’s more about whether the good out weighs the shenanigans. I think it’s troublesome when they are equal.
Off the bat, the man's antics are hilarious. That'll get you gripped.
Introspection isn't the author's strong suit, which can be a pet peeve of mine. Rarely is it super interesting to read about writers know that they don't know themselves. But everything is forgiven because of sentences like this:
Sometimes I wonder if relationships are like math problems: You add the pros, subtract the cons, run the numbers and round up to the nearest husband.
I wish there were a lot more details in this story about the breakup. It reminds me of a math equation- if a nickel is worth a dime, how much is a dime worth? And the answer is- I cannot tell from the information given.
Wouldn't the answer be "a nickel"? Circular references are usually something you try to avoid in programming but they can certainly be useful and are sometimes necessary!
Actually without further information, other answers are possible. If you double a nickel you get a dime. If you then double a dime you get 20 cents. Or if you add 5 cents to a nickel, you also get a dime. Then add 5 cents to a dime and you have 15 cents. We don’t know what the common denominator is here.
Interesting that the author never even tries to answer the question that is the title.
Curious what the community thinks about this: "When I was younger, I believed the holy grail of romance was the birth of love. But now I have seen that love is the easy part; love will come again and again, as many times as you allow it. And then what? What about all the other details?"
Yeah. "Interesting" is a nice way to put it. Like Tripleg, I find it a bit frustrating. (Titles always stink on the internet. They're all "business" and no "art." Thanks for nothing, social media.)
I feel a bit cynical (and old!) saying "I agree" in response to that quote (great catch, btw - it's one of my favorites in the entire piece!!), but I do think there's some truth there.
The couple at the center of Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner (one of my favorite books of all time) grows out of one kind of love and into another kind that's more complex and, frankly, darker. It's full of "all the other details," like acceptance, compromise, utter disappointment. But, overall, it's not necessarily worse than what they started with, if that makes sense. It can be a pretty shitty/sad thing to think about, but it's almost like we need to deploy the same moral resources to handle the evolution of love as the evolution of life and the arrival of death. And like all of the most important questions in life, they can be explored but not answered.
On the one hand, there's this: "Do not go gentle into that good night, / Old age should burn and rave at close of day; / Rage, rage against the dying of the light." That's cool and all, but you're basically just setting yourself up for failure.
And on the other hand, there is the eastern/zen approach of welcoming death, greeting it with a smile. When Thich Nhat Hanh takes his last breath, I bet he'll be smiling. To me, that sounds pretty serene, but also kind of eerie.
Lars von Trier plumbed this paradox in Melancholia, one of my favorite movies of all time. There's so much haunting imagery that all comes rushing back whenever I find the time to get lost in the night sky. (Supermoon! Yes!)
Am I making sense? Do those concepts connect? Is accepting the "reality" of love (it's gonna die, but it might regrow into something new) the same as accepting the "reality" of life (it's gonna end, but we'll reincarnate into something new)? Either way it's scary as fuck.
You are making sense! I love the connection between love and life and what you wrote about the evolution of love. Reminds me of this poem called Love After Love:
The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
Upvote!
First, it seemed weird that this woman would call an acquaintance to handle a rodent infestation! Too cheap to call a professional? He sounded interesting as far as his taking the scenic route,watching shooting stars and walking the beach in the rain. However, what jumped out at me was this: “We differ on how to treat people, where to spend money and what it means to explore the world. He’s an eye for an eye vigilante who keeps a gun.” In my opinion, you HAVE to be on the same page with how you treat people and value money - MAJOR issues. My gut says this would never work.
Lol. You made me chuckle a little bit with: "Too cheap to call a professional?"
I strongly agree with you that those are "MAJOR issues" as you say, but I'm still on the fence about your "gut" response: "this would never work." Maybe it's just that I hope it could work. But both people would have to be willing to put a crazy amount of time and energy into the relationship. And if you don't want to spend your entire life working on a relationship (which is totally understandable, especially if you have other passions) than, yeah, forget it! But I can think of many sadder ways to live a life than putting it all into a relationship, including all the ups and downs. (Like trying to get rich and/or powerful or something like that.)
He would drive me crazy ...can’t handle his antics. I loved the math problem too. I think the missing elements might be about their views on marriage. If you believe in the idea of spending your life with someone then his antics are just his antics. Marriage is not about your partner not bugging you. It’s more about whether the good out weighs the shenanigans. I think it’s troublesome when they are equal.
Off the bat, the man's antics are hilarious. That'll get you gripped.
Introspection isn't the author's strong suit, which can be a pet peeve of mine. Rarely is it super interesting to read about writers know that they don't know themselves. But everything is forgiven because of sentences like this: