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  • Pegeen - 1 month ago
    I’m all for telling the truth, to myself and others. And I believe that I can do it with integrity and compassion - both in my life and work environment. Ego is meant to serve me, not the other way around. With that in check, no need to be an asshole.
  • jlcipriani - 1 month ago
    Being involved in a lot of negotiations, I definitely recognize the way the asshole/non-asshole dynamic plays out. It also matters what happens once the negotiation is concluded. If the result is that no deal is reached, it is seldom actual Yahtzee-playing and smiles. That may occur on the surface, but the failure to conclude a needed deal actually generates more long term bad feeling than reaching a deal where neither side is completely satisfied with the terms initially. In essence, being an asshole in negotiation is advocating for long term benefit while being super agreeable in negotiation can be just playing for the short term benefit of maintaining pleasant feelings at the moment at the expense of long term goals.
    Note: I find it way easier to be an asshole on behalf of others than in situations where I am advocating for myself.
  • turtlebubble - 2 months ago
    I am totally on board with the ethical asshole! I liked this article but think some examples may have helped clear things up. It all felt alittle muddy. And when you’re trying to rebrand a word like “asshole” I think it’s important to be specific.

    I understand the positive aspects to being an asshole in social situations and I think I abide by it. But the asshole in a negotiation I don’t quite understand.. simply being an asshole isn’t enough of a trait to win any negotiation. I’ve delt with people who were straight up assholes and decided not to deal with them anymore.. un-afraid to hurt their feelings or be disliked.. if the authors opinion is that being an asshole in a business deal means being the most informed & appropriately aggressive than that is a much more nuanced skill to hone.
  • joanne - 2 months ago

    Well worth the read. I was a leery of reducing the personality down to five traits but actually it is very close to the more popular and seemingly scientific Myers Briggs test. Loved the language and the opportunity to do a little self reflection.
  • TrashMinky - 2 months ago
    This is interesting and speaks about the basic interpersonal skills that are required to navigate functional life. I enjoyed the “colorful” language, but was confused when it spoke about the 2 authors, yet directly below that it meshed their names into 1 person (Henry Allgood, was it?).

    It was interesting because it’s something I’m currently exploring in a training course about personality selling (the ethical asshole as this article describes).
    • bill - 2 months ago
      Whoa. Yeah. The caption says "Henry Allport" which must be a mistake. Amazing attention to detail, TrashMinky!

      PS Welcome to rr! (Do you know of any good, longform articles on synesthesia? I want to read more about that!)